i changed my mind,

i want to go home. i keep flip flopping between happy and sad and right now i'm feeling pretty miserable. i've cried for the past three hours. i want to close my eyes and wake up in my own bed. my mom left yesterday and it's killing me. everyone told me about how fun college was. no one told me about the part where i would cry myself to sleep because of the homesickness. i know i've only been out here a couple days and classes haven't even started yet which is probably why i'm feeling this way. i have nothing to distract me from my sadness. just time and empty space which i fill with thoughts of home. i feel alone. the people i love are thousands of miles away. my family is moving on without me. i'm scared. the unfamiliarity discomforts me and i feel like i can't do this. i can't do this. i miss everything about home. i miss hugging my mom and josh. i can't do this. i know i should give myself a little more credit. i know how to do laundry and how to cook. i'm getting myself all worked up.

i am sad.
i want it to get better.
i want my mommy.
i want to go home.