I love the scriptures. it's verses like these that come at the right time and really comfort you. doctrine and covenants section 6 verse 36: look unto me in every thought; doubt not, fear not. <3

i find i am fine when i'm busy doing things. when i'm in the apartment alone with nothing to do, that's when i get homesick. i skyped with my mom a few minutes ago and i couldn't help but cry. i get in these moods where i'm terribly sad and long for the summer. i liked the summer. i worked a lot, got to spend loads of time with josh and grew even closer to my mom.

i want it to be christmas break already and it's only the first day of class.
i want to have a good attitude about college but it's just so hard.

daniel gave me a blessing last night and while deep down in my heart i know this is the place i'm supposed to be, i just wish it could be closer to my home. i envy the people i meet who are from orem, provo, salt lake and all the other close places.


i need a hug. from my mom. or josh. it really stinks that i won't get either of those hugs for 3 1/2 months.

i changed my mind,

i want to go home. i keep flip flopping between happy and sad and right now i'm feeling pretty miserable. i've cried for the past three hours. i want to close my eyes and wake up in my own bed. my mom left yesterday and it's killing me. everyone told me about how fun college was. no one told me about the part where i would cry myself to sleep because of the homesickness. i know i've only been out here a couple days and classes haven't even started yet which is probably why i'm feeling this way. i have nothing to distract me from my sadness. just time and empty space which i fill with thoughts of home. i feel alone. the people i love are thousands of miles away. my family is moving on without me. i'm scared. the unfamiliarity discomforts me and i feel like i can't do this. i can't do this. i miss everything about home. i miss hugging my mom and josh. i can't do this. i know i should give myself a little more credit. i know how to do laundry and how to cook. i'm getting myself all worked up.

i am sad.
i want it to get better.
i want my mommy.
i want to go home.

i'm ready

i leave the day after tomorrow. and i am STOKED. i guess i kinda feel like my time in wilmington has expired..i dunno....I've kinda been in the slumps since Josh left (naturally) and am just really bored all the time. my mom says that I've gotten a bad attitude (again, naturally) and i think that bad attitude will go away when i get off my bum and embrace life as a college student! packing is mildly frustrating and i wish i could clone my room and then take it to college with me. i know the small closet, drawer, and room space is gonna be a rude awakening but there's nothing i can do really. in the words of spongebob, "i'm ready, i'm ready, i'm ready"...

dear skype,

you are going to be my best friend for the next couple months. thanks for being awesome. and free.
love,
jordan

goodbyes suck.

dear chubby cheeks,

i hate you. i'm tired of people thinking i'm storing nuts for the winter so i'd appreciate it if you would deflate and return to your normal state of non-puffiness..

love,
jordan

p.s. please enjoy these pictures taken pre-puffy cheeks

numb

so the procedure today was an ultimate success!!! i was very nervous going into it and even more nervous when they hooked me up to monitors, put a "laughing gas" mask over my face and hooked me up to an IV. the last thing i remember was one of the lady's taking my blood pressure and the next thing i knew i was sitting there, giving dr. arne' a thumbs up. surprisingly i was coherent and didn't put on a good loopy show at all, much to my family's and josh's disappointment. i only bled a little bit and have been eating lots (which isn't that surprising, coming from me). Since I've been popping pain pills like crazy (prescribed ones, of course) i've felt pretty tired and have spent most of the day laying on the couch with ice/frozen pea bags on my face. josh came over immediately after for moral support and was very kind to fix my ice bags for me when they slid off my cheeks. i went back to his house for about an hour while our mom's walked but i got tired very quickly after our first couple races of mario kart and settled on watching tv while eating ice cream and getting a foot massage; josh spoils me. right now my right side is much larger than my left (i only had one on my left side and two on my right) so i feel like i look pretty silly but i don't mind. the next couple days will consist of me lying around, watching tv with peas on my face; jealous much?

oh peas...

can you tell which side is more swollen??

this is the countdown

well, 1 week 6 days...i'm BEYOND excited :D

in a few minutes my family is gonna go sit on the beach and look for things in the sky. apparently there's supposed to be a killer meteor shower around midnight so we're gonna see if we can see anything cool (oh the redundancy!!)

also he's a pretty cute picture of me and my favorite dog Lucy:

you may say i'm a dreamer but i'm not

tonight me and josh went to see "dinner for schmucks" and it was pretty funny. not nearly as stupid as we thought it would be, which was good, but still not exactly the greatest movie ever. there were some pretty inappropriate parts which were awkward but steve carrel is a pretty funny guy.

tomorrow night is my last day of work at gymboree and i am sad!! i love my job at gymboree and i can't wait to (hopefully)work there again at christmas.

my wisdom teeth are getting cut out friday and i am NOT looking forward to it. mom's inviting josh to come over and laugh at me while i'm sedated so at least a few people will get a laugh. i just hope i'm not as loopy as this kid:

this post is comin from my new laptop suckas!!

love is all you need

so i have roughly 2 1/2 weeks left in wilmy wood-soooo crazy to think about!! i love this place but i'm excited for Provo! I'm excited for all the new people and experiences! ilm much love but i think Provo is gonna be pretty fun too!!

yesterday me and michelle went over to the morrill's to paint the baby's room and it was sooo much fun! we painted and played with the boys and creeped with sister morrill on faceook and looked at her old pictures and played mario kart and ate pizza and it was just such a nice couple of hours!!! the burton's kids were over there the first hour or so so we had a nice little photoshoot with seth...

after our painting fun, i worked until 5:30 then headed downtown to see an 80's cover band that played all kinds of 80's goodies. We were worried it would rain but it didn't! and we rocked out hard. i sang almost every song (sorry josh!) extremely loudly and it was so 80's-tastic!!

after the concert we headed to the airport to see andrew and matthew (twin brothers who have been serving missions in Japan) and it was such a nice homecoming!!! the majority of their family was there along with people in the ward and i think now they look more alike than they did before! i can't wait to hear them speak in sacrament meeting in a few weeks! hopefully they'll speak a little japanese because i think that would be cool.

today i have an on-call shift from 12-4 and i hope i don't have to go. it's tax free weekend so i'd rather shop than work. duh. also at some point today i'm going to buy my laptop which looks like this:

today should be a good day and i'm excited to get a laptop!!!!!!

mystery guitar man

yeah...he's pretty cool

Oh and how could I forget, one of my sunbeams kicked me today. She wouldn't come out from underneath the table. I tried to coax her out best I could but after numerous attempts and no success, I finally went in after her...yeah, she was having none of that. She started screaming and kicking and broke my necklace! After that stunt I picked her up and didn't put her down the rest of primary. She cried and screamed and I felt bad but she needed to know kicking and hiding underneath the table is not okay. Hopefully next sunday will be less eventful...

ode to cat

i love my kitty. she's very old and mom said that she probably wouldn't be alive when i come home at Christmas time. so to celebrate Jessie's life, i let her come inside tonight and gave her some milk and some pillows to lounge on and gave her a nice little back/head scratch. i really wanted to take her up to my room and let her sleep on the top bunk but mom said no, specially after i gave her milk (apparently most cats are lactose intolerant and can't digest the milk so she potentially could poop everywhere tonight and i'll more than likely have to clean it up if she does...woo!)
so here's to you Jessie! you're a great little cat.